It has recently come to my attention that placebos work even when the subject is aware that it is a placebo they are taking. A person can be given a pill for something like anxiety, and know full well that it is a small piece of sugar wrapped in digestible plastic, and they will still feel anti-anxiety effects.
I have begun abusing this knowledge profusely, and have decided to start documenting my results.
Instead of vitamins in the morning, I have been ingesting the following:
placebo anabolic steroids (for strength)
placebo antianxiety pills (for calm)
placebo sensory enhancers (so that I can see further, hear more, taste in more detail, balance better, feel in more detail, etc)
placebo olfactory inhibitors (for rides on the T)
placebo tissue regeneration pills (so that my body will heal itself faster)
placebo dietary supplements (I am sure that my regular vitamins lack in some areas. now they don't)
placebo intelligence enhancers (they just make you very smart)
placebo antidepressants (for happiness)
placebo painkillers (so that I will not suffer pain)
placebo pheremone enhancers (they make women fall in love with me everywhere I go)
placebo pleasurenhancers (the contrapositive of painkillers)
placebo jetpack pills (for personal flight)
The effectiveness of the steroids is hard to judge. Since I don't know what real steroids do, and I doubt that that knowledge even resides in my subconcious, the placebo is for some imaginary version of steroids, which basically make it possible for me to grow stronger at any rate I can concieve of, without any negative side effects. I will be measuring this over the course of the next few months in terms of improvement in the physical activities that are already part of my life. The control will be improvement over the last year. Not really a huge sample size, or good basis, but then, I don't have any scientific responsibility here.
The antianxiety pills have produced an immediate calming effect. I feel level headed. I suppose that is because I want to. Probably the root of the placebo effect is that the placebo gives me an excuse to experience emotional states that I desire, but previously thought were inaccessible. Contemplating taking a nirvana pill.
Sensory Enhancers, are especially effective in terms of hearing. I can't really feel in much more detail, but they might be having an interaction with the placebo painkillers. Hmmm...
The olfactory inhibitors do not work. Shit still stinks.
Tissue regeneration pills, which are as hard to judge as the steroids, are meant to help me heal all of my messed up tendons and cuts, scrapes, and bruises. I pick up injuries on a pretty regular basis, and know how long most of them should take to heal, so I think this will be a similar judgement call to the steroids. Hopefully it will help all these tendon injuries I keep getting in my shoulders.
Dietary Supplements. Nobody knows what they do. There is no reason to think that they won't give me super powers. Any of the effects I attribute to other pills may come from these. Not that this experiment had any scientific integrity to begin with...
Intelligence enhancers. Wow. I mean, lets talk about possibilities. I am thinking about something so complicated right now that I can't even write it down. Yup, working.
The antidepressants are highly effective, it seems that wanting to be happy is the key to happiness. Instant win.
Painkillers are, according to studies, one of the easiest drugs to emulate with placebos. So it is interesting that they dont' seem to work at all on my shoulder and back pain. Could be an interaction from the sensory enhancers. I am going to have to work on that.
Pheremone enhancers seem effective. Women are constantly throwing themselves at me. And by that I mean that sometimes a lady will say "hi" and smile. I was kind of hoping for my life to start resembling an axe commercial, but maybe I just need to tweak the dosage.
Pleasure enhancers. Hmmm, I had better keep these particular results to myself. I reccomend them, however.
Now, so far the least effective have been the Jetpack pills. I have not yet been able to fly at all. They probably have to build up in your system for a while.
Now, I realize this seems like quite a lot of drugs for one man to be consuming, but be aware that these placebos are for forms of these drugs with no negative side effects, so I am not in danger of overdosing or anything. I also ruled out placebo telekinesis and placebo mind reading drugs, as they could lead to embarrasing situations and loss of "touch with reality" (oh good idea I had better take a placebo "in touch with reality pill")
It worked! The remainder of this experiment, however, is cancelled, due to the effectiveness of that last pill.
